You’ve got a mile-long list of things to get done around the house, a project for work due by Monday, a kid’s birthday party this weekend and you’re also trying to get to the gym and make a home-cooked meal for dinner.
In other words, your plate is full. And you are stressed.
I know I speak for a lot of us when I say that it often feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day, and that the days go by far too quickly. You can set out each morning with the best of intentions, only to get less than halfway done with your to-do list before bedtime rolls around again.
So you go to sleep beating yourself up for not being more productive, wishing you could have got more done and knowing tomorrow will be the same game. You constantly feel like you just can’t keep up with the demands of life and like you’re always running behind or playing catch-up.
Your cup is empty, and you just wish you could do better.
In the world we live in these days, there is an almost constant, unrelenting pressure to get it all done, but is that really what’s best for us? If you’re not careful, all of this pressure will leave you feeling frazzled and unhappy, and it can even lead to more serious things like anxiety, depression, illness and burnout.
Now before we go any further, let’s take a moment to pause.
Relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw and take a big deep breath in. Hold it for a few seconds. As you release that breath, I want you to close your eyes and picture the word “grace.”
Grace has many possible definitions. But most simply put, grace can be described as unmerited favor, kindness or love.
It is not uncommon for us to treat everyone else with love and kindness but then look in the mirror with disappointment and regret.
When you “give yourself grace,” you are making the conscious decision to treat yourself with goodwill, love and kindness — just as you would treat those around you.
In all of the chaos that is life, if we don’t make it a point to also give ourselves grace, allow ourselves to rest and prioritize selfcare, we can end up not really enjoying our life that much.
The saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup” comes into play perfectly here. If you’re running around on a figurative E, you can’t possibly be giving the best of yourself to those around you.
Sure, you may be able to do physical tasks, but when you stop to think about how “present” you are in each moment, my guess is not very much.
And the thing is, when we give ourselves grace to slow down a little and prioritize enjoying our life, everything gets a bit better. But again, this isn’t just about the “life-enjoyment factor.” It’s also about your health.
Studies show that when you shift your focus to giving yourself grace rather than being disappointed in yourself so often, it can lead to many health benefits. These include reduced anxiety, increased resilience, greater quality of life and life satisfaction, and improved cardiovascular and immune system health.
Other benefits include improved social connections, less fear of failure, stronger interpersonal relationships and reduced overall stress levels.
When you start giving yourself grace to leave dishes in the sink if you need to or go to bed before the to-do list is completely finished or take an extra rest day each week from the gym during a busy season of your life — and you fully believe that you are not “failing” — that is when you can really see improvements in your enjoyment of life and your health.
Some tips for integrating this into your life: ● Practice gratitude first and foremost. Instead of putting your to-do list above all else and focusing on all of the things you have to get done each day, make it a point to pause and reflect on all that you are grateful for.
● Stop comparing yourself to others. You may think that everyone else is able to get more done in a day than you are, or that you are the only one who feels exhausted on a regular basis, but chances are that most people around you feel the same way and have similar struggles to you. Remind yourself of this daily if you need to.
● Ask for help before you feel burnt out. Part of giving yourself grace is knowing you’re not meant to do it all alone and accepting help from others. It feels great to help when a loved one is in need; allow yourself to be on the receiving end when you need it as well.
● Remember that “perfect” is not a real thing. We discussed the dangers of perfectionism here a few months back, and for good reason. Seeking perfection is the fastest way to let yourself down, feel depressed and burn yourself out.
● Work on silencing your negative self-talk. We are often great at saying nice things to others or forgiving others’ transgressions but simultaneously hold ourselves to impossible standards. Start giving yourself the same love and kindness that you give to others and watch the “magic” unfold in your life.
● Prioritize self-care. A great way to offset the exhaustion that can come from a busy lifestyle is to practice regular self-care. When you make this a staple in your weekly routine, it will help with all aspects of your health and wellness. It will also help you to pause and reflect on all of the things you’ve done and be proud of yourself.
At the end of the day, giving yourself grace is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Making the promise to give yourself the same grace that you give to others is a surefire way to improve your health and well-being in so many ways.
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Studies show that when you shift your focus to giving yourself grace rather than being disappointed in yourself so often, it can lead to many health benefits. These include reduced anxiety, increased resilience, greater quality of life and life satisfaction, and improved cardiovascular and immune system health.
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