It is a quintessential human experience — something that is completely unique to humans — yet many people see it as a sign of weakness. From phrases like “Don’t cry about it” to “Real men don’t cry” or even the commonplace practice of telling children to “stop crying,” the negative beliefs about crying are clear and widespread.
We often distract ourselves from whatever emotion we are experiencing when it feels like we might cry, and many people don’t even know the last time they shed a single tear. But what you may not know is that there are actual proven health benefits to crying. That’s right: Research has found that crying can be beneficial for both your mind and body.
Starting with the basics, there are three types of tears: tears that keep the eyes moist, which are secreted every time you blink; tears that happen reflexively, such as when you are cutting onions or get something in your eye; and emotional tears.
Humans are the only animals that produce emotional tears. Crying can occur in response to a range of negative emotions,
DOCTOR, WHY?
including fear, anger, pain or sadness, and can also occur in response to positive emotions such as joy, love or fulfillment.
From a scientific perspective, crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, and it has a calming effect to help you relax. Crying releases hormones like endorphins and oxytocin, which can help to reduce pain (both physical and mental pain) and improve your sense of well-being.
Furthermore, while continuous tears are made of almost 100% water, emotional tears may also contain stress hormones and other toxins. Studies suggest that allowing yourself to cry on a regular basis helps to flush these things out of your system.
Likewise, research shows that sobbing can help to raise your spirits and improve your mood, due in large part to the breathing movements associated with this type of heavy crying. When you sob, you breath quickly and heavily, and this can help to regulate the temperature of your brain and produce a calming sensation.
Crying also has interpersonal and intrapersonal functions. From an intrapersonal perspective, crying can help you to process grief and loss. It can help you move through challenging times and process the emotions in a healthy way. A good crying session can make it feel as though the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders; it can help you to see things more clearly and even improve your sleep quality.
Interpersonally, crying can help to rally comfort and support from those around us. Crying is a key attachment behavior that is present from birth all the way through adulthood. When we see someone crying, it is our innate desire to help them in some way, and this is a powerful means of connection between individuals. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable around others and to receive emotional support and connection can take a very grim situation and make it feel doable.
Conversely, holding in your tears can also affect your health, but in a much different way. When we feel the urge to cry but resist it for some reason, this can impact our health and well being in a negative way.
Refusing to cry on a regular basis when your mind or body feels the need can lead to increased stress and anxiety and increase your risk of depression. Holding back tears can also lead to physical manifestations such as headaches or digestive issues.
Moreover, routinely suppressing your desire to cry can hinder the way you work through challenging situations and release difficult emotions. This can further increase your risk of anxiety and depression and reduce your overall quality and enjoyment of life. Also known as “repressive coping,” holding in your tears and keeping difficult feelings inside you has been linked with heart disease, elevated blood pressure and reduced immune system function.
Generally speaking, when comparing sexes, men tend to suppress their tears more than women do. This may be due to things they were taught about crying in their growing-up years, or to societal assumptions regarding men who cry.
However, although the stereotype “real men don’t cry” has been around for ages, it is harmful and can have dangerous repercussions for the mental health of all men. This stereotype is based on the assumption that crying makes one appear weak, and that men who don’t cry are somehow stronger.
However, when we look at the research regarding crying, it appears that the opposite is glaringly true; those of us (men and women alike) who allow ourselves to cry actually have better mental health and fortitude.
Think about the last time you had a good cry — not just shedding a few tears at the end of a sad movie, but the last time your eyes were a bit puffy from crying so much. If you’re being honest with yourself, you likely felt much better, lighter and less stressed after that crying experience.
If you’re someone who cries whenever you feel like you need to cry and have no shame letting those tears out, I am giving you a virtual *high five* right now. But if you’re someone who prefers to hold in your tears, I encourage you to remember this, and let the waterworks flow in the name of your health and wellness.
