Picture it. You’re 10 years old, feeling like life is great and not having a care in the world. But then someone makes a comment — one comment that could change the way you see yourself forever.

For me, that comment came from a grown woman saying, “Wow, she has cellulite already,” as she looked at the back of my 10-year-old legs. Almost 30 years later, I still remember hearing that like it was yesterday.

Imagine spending your whole life primarily concerned with how your body looks. That is the sad reality for so many people. Studies have found that 69 to 84% of women and 20 to 40% of men experience body image issues during their lifetime.

Those with body image insecurities are generally unhappy with the way they look and feel they need to change their body in order to fit in or to be accepted by the world around them. Body image is closely related to self-esteem, self-love, overall lifestyle choices and outlook on life.

The sad thing is that this is starting earlier and earlier these days. There are 7-year-olds already feeling insecure about their body, when all they should be doing is enjoying their childhood to the fullest.

Yet they are starting to look in the mirror and point out what they dislike about their own body. They are looking at their friends’ bodies and comparing them to what they see in the mirror. And saddest of all, they are starting to hear kids at school making negative comments about their weight.

But it’s not their fault. They are only adapting and reacting to the things they see around them, just as we did when we were younger, just as our parents did when they were younger.

Somewhere down the line, we started to believe that there is an acceptable size for a woman to be, and that unless you are near that size, you should be frantically trying to change your body.

Studies show that body image insecurity can begin as early as 3 years old. Understandably, this is not something that typically gets better as time goes on. Adolescents and teens often struggle in a major way with their own body image and body insecurity.

One study suggests that by elementary school, 40 to 60% of girls express concerns about their weight or about becoming fat. This number grows to an alarming 78% by age 17.

Yes, there are outside influences to consider; social media and television can both have dramatic effects on our kids’ thinking patterns and beliefs. However, we must also discuss the “in the home” component of these shocking statistics.

Kids see so much of what we do, and they try to emulate most

“
Imagine spending your whole life primarily concerned with how your body looks. That is the sad reality for so many people.

”

of what they see. Research shows children learn in large part by imitation, by observing and repeating what they see from their parents or other adults close to them.

This applies to attitudes, behaviors, habits, beliefs and even facial expressions. This is important to talk about because many of us know we are guilty of making self-deprecating comments on a regular basis. Comments like “I am so fat,” “I could never wear that” or “I am not ready to wear a swimsuit yet” are all proven to have a negative impact on your overall confidence and self-love.

Young children are highly impressionable and tend to internalize the things they hear their parents say. Therefore, when children hear their parents say this type of comment, it is very likely that they will start to question their own body or feel insecure in their own skin.

Children who hear their parents engage in frequent negative selftalk are more likely to adopt the same form of self-talk. This can have a hugely negative impact on their mental health and overall emotional well-being.

As I mentioned previously, this does not just magically get better. I have talked to countless women over the age of 50 who still have body image insecurity, who have felt their whole life that their weight was not acceptable and have always been trying to lose weight. Many of the women I talk to are legitimately afraid of many foods because they fear weight gain so intensely.

Much like their younger counterparts, research shows that over 60% of elderly women are unhappy with the appearance of their body. The staggering statistics show how detrimental this can be on the entire lifespan of an individual.

Those with body image issues are far more likely to develop an eating disorder during their lifetime, and eating disorders are strongly linked with anxiety, depression and overall unhappiness. Statistically speaking, at least 10% of Americans will develop an eating disorder at some point in their life, and most eating disorders develop between the ages of 12 and 25.

Recovery from an eating disorder is a long and challenging process, and many people never recover. Sadly, over 10,000 people die each year as a direct result of an eating disorder; my friend, that is one death every 52 minutes.

I have so many questions. First and foremost: When and how does this stop? Is there a point that we can just relax and enjoy this one life? It breaks my heart to think of how many people, predominantly women, will spend their entire lifetime only worried about the appearance and size of their body.

We are worth so much more than that. But sadly, we have been conditioned to believe that there is an acceptable size for a woman to be, and if you’re not near that size, there is something wrong or unlovable about you.

So, what do we do? How do we make a change that actually has a lasting impact? Do we want our kids to become their own biggest critics or to grow up learning how to love themselves? Do we want to continue this way of living that celebrates a specific body type while indicting others?

It is up to us to demand better. Get comfortable calling out your friends (or yourself) when they make comments like the ones we’ve discussed. Build each other up rather than so frequently tearing each other down.

And for the love of God, stop commenting on others’ bodies. You have no idea what they are going through. Weight loss is not always a good thing; weight gain is not always a bad thing.

We must start believing that we are worth more than the appearance of our body. I truly believe this can get better one day, but nothing will change if nothing changes.